Monday, June 6, 2011

An Interview with the god, Thor

Marsha Hamilton lands the interview of the year with the god, Thor!

Marsha Hamilton:  Hello!  My name is Marsha Hamilton, and I am here with the real life inspiration for the movie Thor... the god Thor!  Mr. Thor, thank you for sitting down with us today.  It's quite an honor!

Thor: My title is the God of Thunder, not this "Mr…".  

Marsha: Sorry, my mistake!

Thor: Harrumph...

Marsha: As our viewers know, you have a brand new film coming out depicting your life as a god, called (inventively!) Thor. Tell us how this film came about!

Thor: Centuries ago, my worshippers were swept from the face of Earth.  I was content at first to remain in the fastnesses of my Northland. Then Loki, my brother, insulted me to my face at the dishonor of my isolation, and so I descended in storm and cloud upon the face of the northern city, Seattle, to reclaim my followers from the peoples of this planet. 

Marsha: (Smiling) So what made you move to Washington? Go Seahawks? 

Thor: There frail lovers of earth still recalled my name, and I cannot abide warmer winds. 

Marsha:  I've heard the right climate does wonders for health.  So is this movie a personal triumph for you, a comeback kid moment so to speak?

Thor: I have sacrificed much to have come thus far. Centuries of shame and ignorance have finally ended. 

Marsha: Our viewers love to be inspired! Tell us about your experiences.

Thor:  One of my darkest hours came with the American Doctor, Franklin.  He refused to acknowledge my contribution to his experiment with the storm.  Only now has the truth about my role begun to emerge.  Later I sent and received letters from the poet Longfellow, but instead of honoring me with his work, he glorified that Christian pig, Olaf, and demeaned me before the world.  Finally, I was forced to seek the minds of the fools and bards of the picture book world.

Marsha:  Marvel Comics! You must have been so excited.

Thor:  They came to me with favorable words about a moving picture that would reveal my power to men.  I have never been a lover of words, but Loki, whose insults I forbore to punish, spoke with them and the bargain was made. 

Marsha:  Gotta have a good agent!

Thor:  Their one demand was that I write upon a thin piece of tree with animal secretion.  I wished to pledge in blood, but they would have none of it.

Marsha:  So what did you bring to the table?

Thor:  I was eager to help.  But they told me my presence on the picture set was not wanted.  My thunder was too awesome and the Port Woman grew afraid. 

Marsha:  So how did you like the movie?

Thor:  I throve at the sight of my victory over Loki, but the story like so much of this world is polluted by the gospel of the Galilean.  My being was made to die and return to life like the pitiful Balder desired but in vain.  Everyone knows that a god of the Norsemen dies a dark death and embraces the void.

Marsha:  Oooh, that sounds edgy!

Thor:  You must ride with the Valkyrie on a winters night.  Then you would know the meaning of this phrase "wild ride".

Marsha:  I will have to add that to my bucket list!  So what are you going to do now?

Thor:  I shall seek the Northern wastes.  This long journey has brought many words, but little deeds.  I shall punish Loki for leading me to waste centuries in the vapid world of men.  

Marsha:  Maybe we can do a special on sibling rivalry and bring you two on the show!

Thor:  Death first!

Marsha: Oooh, my goodness, you give me quite a thrill, Mr. Thor. Well, we have run out of time, but this has been most enlightening. Thank you for sharing your story with us!

Thor: I will see you in the halls of Valhalla.

Marsha:  Well, I appreciate the invitation!  Back to you, Marco!


  1. I've never been to Washington; maybe if I ever get there I'll try to look him up...

    I rather enjoyed the movie and thought it was very well-made; obvious, err, THORny issues with the mythology aside.

  2. Excellent, my fine good fellow!! How I wish more people could be exposed to your writings- you have MUCH to bring to the proverbial table!

    Kathryn :)

  3. Thanks, Kathryn! :)

    Starch, I actually enjoyed the movie too. It made me laugh a lot. Any movie that does that automatically hits my good list. :)